You have to make sure you're serious and your partner is serious before you bring the kiddos into the mix.It's not fair to the kids if you aren't going to stick around.I recommend waiting at least 3 months before the introduction.
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(It's a small town, so we kind of knew each other, but not really.) I was extra, extra lucky because my boyfriend had a (mostly) good relationship with her.
This is not always the case, but that's another blog post.
For now, my advice is to also play the waiting game with the ex -- take your time before you meet him or her. Realize you are taking someone else's child into your life.
Knowing that I was moving back to a small town after years of living in cities, I looked at my therapist and said: "I can't date someone who has children. And while I was in love with both the man and the kid, I was totally lost. There is nothing wrong with single or divorced parents. But my friends back home in the small town I was moving back to? He had a son with his ex-girlfriend, who I also remember from my past.
I was in a relationship with a man who had a 10-year-old son. I was 29 years old, and the majority of my friends in Chicago were childless or childfree, whichever term you prefer. I knew that by moving back here, I was inviting many children into my day-to-day life -- and probably my love life, too. Despite all of my fears, I reconnected with this man from my youth.